Trying to buy a home

So my wife and I found a nice home up in the Santa Cruz Mountains which we really liked. Since Murphy’s Law is in effect, the owners had to be TCHOFH (The Crazy Home Owners From Hell). Anyways, rather then trying to explain the long and drawn out process, my friend Eric summarized our ordeal in a few lines:

let put this in terms i can understand:

me: how much for this rug?
pakistani rug merchant: for you? $400. I promise there are no stains on this rug!
me: um, how about $300. Why would there be stains? It’s a new rug? Is there something wrong?
PRM: $350. THERE ARE NO STAINS! WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT STAINS???!!! no, you may not look for stains
me: $310
PRM: $450!
me: WTF?

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