06/15/06

This is my badge…

I came across a fun email from an ex-coworker and friend at a privious company shortly after that company changed it’s badge policy to be, shall we say, “more strict”.

mercy!!! have mercy on me!!! i wore my badge in the *shower* this morning!

I AM A MAN!!!! I AM NOT A NUMBER!!! I AM MORE THAN MY PLASTIC CARD!!!

[sounds of scuffle and beatings]

[electro-shock therapy]

[nine-hours of charlie **** harranguing and multiple e-mails later]

     ...i will wear my badge with pride...

This is my badge.
There are many like it, but this one is MINE.
My badge is my best friend. It is my life.
I must master it as I must master my life.
My badge without me is useless. Without my badge, I am useless.
I must swipe my badge true.
I must wear this badge straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me.
I must prove my identity before he assumes mine. I will..
My badge and myself know that what counts in war is not who we claim to be, 
the quality of our work, nor the meeting we call,
We know it is the counter hits that count. We will hit...
My badge is human, even as I, because it is my life.
Thus, I will learn it as a brother.
I will learn its weaknesses, its strengths, its parts, its accessories, its tag, and its lanyard.
I will ever guard it against the ravages of weather and damage.
I will keep my badge clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready.
We will become part of each other. We will...
Before God I swear this creed.
My badge and myself are the defenders of my country.
We are the masters of our enemy.
We are the saviors of my life.
So be it, until there is no enemy, but PEACE.

03/18/06

Dad! Tom Cruise won’t come out of the closet!

So let me get this straight… it’s ok for South Park (one of my favorite shows on TV) to make fun of Christians, Jews, Muslims and Mormons, but when they make fun of Scientology (which is more cult then religion) all of a sudden Comedy Central pulls re-airing the episode because of religious insensitivity and the voice of Chef, Issac Hayes, (who is a Scientologist) quits (oddly though, not in protest of the original airing months ago, but in the re-airing).

I thought Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s response was well thought out and to the point:

“So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!! [Signed,] Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu.”

To find out more about Scientology you should read this interview and check out Operation Clambake.

Or grab the torrent and download the South Park episode and watch it anyways.